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Brian Ferguson, Natalie Freeburg, and their daughter Isla. Photo courtesy of Natalie Freeburg.

July 2008

Mom Helps Connect Potrero Hill Parents

By Lori Higa

Natalie Freeburg felt she’d come home when she first arrived in San Francisco almost two decades ago. A self-described “ex-pat child of an oil company family,” Freeburg was born in Venezuela and raised in Iran, Libya and England.  She came to the City after graduating college, first living in the Richmond District before moving to Potrero Hill in 2001.  The Mississippi Street resident’s unconventional upbringing shaped her values regarding community, partnership and parenting.  And they’re what inspired her to rejuvenate the Potrero Hill Parents Association (PHPA), growing it from a few dozen members to nearly 500 people over the past five years.

Freeburg credits her success at community building to her parents’ insistence on living among the native peoples in the countries in which she was raised. “When we were overseas, my parents made sure we lived in a neighborhood rather than a company compound. That helped foster relationships with locals and allowed us to experience their cultures deeper than many ex-pat families ever could,” said Freeburg. “I started community building when I was a high school senior at the American School in London.  I launched an orientation group with a couple friends, making sure new students had someone to sit with at lunch and to go out with on weekend nights.”

Freeburg, who was an associate producer for the award-winning Public Broadcasting System television show Gerbert in the late 1980s, serves as a consultant with First 5 San Francisco, a nonprofit that advocates and provides educational support for families with children under five years old.  She recently completed a year-long training with Bay Area Parent Leadership Action Network, a nonprofit dedicated to creating educational equity and “social justice for families.”

When Freeburg entered college at Southern Methodist University in Dallas it was her first time living in the states; the result was culture shock. “I didn’t fit in at all,” she said quietly. “Because I had lived abroad, I missed out on all the American TV shows that define pop culture and bind people together.” Freeburg found comfort as president of Mobilization of Volunteer Efforts, which gave students an opportunity to become involved in the community outside campus. “We grew the organization from about 10 students to over 100 by the time I graduated.

“People don’t have any idea how hungry others are to be a part of community,” Freeburg explained. “Many years ago, when I moved into an apartment building with five other flats, I stuck a note under each door inviting people over for a pot of chili. Someone said they had lived there for eight years and no one had ever done that.”

When Freeburg began dating Scotland-born Brian Ferguson, whom she married at the Potrero Hill Neighborhood House seven years ago, “We did a lot of volunteer projects like Habitat for Humanity.  Now that we’re life partners, every year on Valentine’s Day, we cook and serve dinner at a shelter for men who are homeless.”  Freeburg admitted, “To be honest, I really struggled at first with Brian’s desire to not participate in the commercial aspect of Valentine’s Day, but now I feel much more enriched giving away boxes of chocolates than receiving them.”

Freeburg and Ferguson prefer the term “partner” to “husband and wife.” According to brown-haired, blue-eyed Freeburg, “We started referring to each other as ‘partner’ in solidarity with friends who were committed same-sex couples.  And until the day when LGBT people have marriage equality, we’ll keep saying it. Another reason we choose to use the word ‘partner’ is it helps us create our own parenting roles rather than rely on society’s definitions. We share our child-rearing 50-50,” she said.

When the couple first met, Ferguson commuted to a Silicon Valley job.  But his interest in Unitarian Universalism led him to enroll in the Starr King School for Ministry at the Graduate Theological Union in Berkeley.  After their daughter Isla – Scottish for ‘island,’ who’s now five years old – was born, Freeburg began volunteering at the First Unitarian Universalist Church of San Francisco (UUSF) on Franklin Street, working with children.  She was quickly offered the job of acting director of religious education.

Roughly one month before Isla arrived, Freeburg placed an ad in the View to find other new and prospective parents-to-be.  “It was difficult at first, because I don’t have extended family here and neither does Brian. I had no friends with children, I didn’t have a mom, auntie, or grandmother nearby to give advice on things such as breast feeding, diapers, or to reassure you that ‘your child’s not dying, it’s just gas…’”

According to Freeburg, her family-focused community building “started with just a few of us meeting at Farley’s.  We didn’t want to have a group just for moms, for which there are many, but for couples, both partners and two-dad families.  Freeburg created a Yahoo group, which helped speed things up. “With technology, we didn’t need a newsletter, or phone trees.  It was instant.” The strategy worked.  The informal group graduated to meeting monthly at Bloom’s Saloon; parents brought their newborns in car seats and strollers.  A babysitting exchange was set up; spin-offs were formed.  The group grew so fast and became so large that they decided to merge with the more established PHPA, which had been around for nearly 20 years.  While PHPA had a long track record of family-oriented community building, including helping to renovate McKinley Square Park, it had shrank to about 40 members at the time and was going through a transition period.

“For me personally, there was loss around becoming parents, spontaneity, the ability to participate in the San Francisco I loved…I could frolic no more,” Freeburg said.  “PHPA was a chance to recreate why I live here. It helps people get to know each other face to face, have events, a safe place to express opinions, create a bridge and share struggle.”

Most importantly, said Freeburg, “The group is empowering.  It gives reasons for parents to stay in Potrero Hill; for the education of their children, for example, rather than fleeing to the suburbs, where schools, parks and public transportation are supposedly better.”  A rejuvenated PHPA supported the creation of the Mandarin immersion program at then ailing Starr King Elementary School, and inspired a group of parents to fight to keep Daniel Webster Elementary School open.  According to Elaine Wang, a First 5 program officer, “Natalie is amazing. I admire her so much.  Because she took the initiative, she mobilized parents, got them support they needed to engage and organize.”

On behalf of PHPA, Freeburg obtained a three-year, $11,000, First 5 Parent Action Grant from the state.  “It was really great…we didn’t have to front money for our web group, or have to charge $15 for an art activity class, for example, which some parents can’t afford,” said Freeburg.  “One of the most valuable things about it was attending the trainings, where we could interact with other parents, exchange laughter and struggles about community building, no matter our economic and cultural differences.”  Grant funded activities included monthly art events at St. Teresa of Avila Catholic Church, as well as classes in drumming, toilet training, CPR, and child raising.  “We also had community events such as ‘Raise, Raze & Recycle,’ our version of toddler Burning Man last year, and were able to support local organizations by paying rental fees for our events,” Freeburg added.  

“I’m a big believer in supporting local businesses; it really does help community building, because you meet people while shopping in your local grocery store, café or restaurant, in addition to the fact that it keeps neighborhood businesses going.  Otherwise, people just stay in their houses, you never run into them.”

After juggling full-time employment and seminary studies for two years, Ferguson recently quit his job, and Freeburg resigned her position with UUSF last summer.  This month the family will move to Austin, Texas, where Ferguson will intern at a Unitarian Universalist church.  “Brian will complete his ministerial degree as the intern for First Unitarian Universalist Church, Isla will begin kindergarten, and I have no idea what job I’ll have. We don’t even really know anyone there....yet,” Freeburg said with a smile.  Freeburg and her family plan to return home to San Francisco in a year.  

If you’re a Potrero Hill parent and would like to join PHPA, contact Sara O’Neill  skmoneill@gmail.com.

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