I’m not a conspiracy theorist, nor do I know what that term means. But I’ve become increasingly aware that letters to the editor in liberal, East Coast newspapers are predominantly anti-President Donald Trump. To that, I say: sad, horrible, unfair. I also ask two key questions: Are the liberal, East Coast newspapers not receiving letters to the editor in support of Trump? Or are they receiving them and not printing them?
Well, I happen to know that they’re, in fact, receiving them and not printing them. Again, I say: sad, horrible, unfair. To rectify that situation and to give these faithful supporters their moment in the journalistic sun, I’ve compiled dozens of unprinted pro-Trump letters to the editor in a new book, entitled: Sad. Horrible. Unfair. Below are four examples.
Editor,
Regarding “Da, Trump Is Putin’s Lap Dognik” (editorial, February 14), you stated unequivocally that the 45th president has only praise for the Russian leader because the latter has “dirt” on the former. And what facts are used to back up this assertion? Oh, right. President Trump sent a box of See’s Candies Milk California Brittle® to Vladimir Putin for Valentine’s Day. My God, you make it sound like the leader of the free world has never engaged with a tyrant before to engender a better relationship.
Newsflash: the history books are littered with examples. In 1938, President Franklin D. Roosevelt secretly met with Italian Prime Minister Benito Mussolini at Coney Island, where they wolfed down Nathan’s Famous hot dogs, played arcade games, and gave each other hickeys in the Tunnel of Love. And in 1951, President Harry S. Truman invited North Korean Prime Minister Kim Il-sung to the White House for a sleepover. The two spent the night gossiping and stuffing kimchi down each other’s pajama bottoms.
So, before casting aspersions on the integrity of our president, do your homework. Start by checking out my critically acclaimed pamphlet, Not That Terrible: Taking the “Dick” Out of Dictators.
Ralph A. Farmington
Associate professor of Alternative History, DeVos Charter University
Ypsilanti, MI
Editor,
Regrading “Trump Not Legit President,” (op-ed, February 14), I was sickened by your so-called opinion writer’s lack of respect for the man who clearly would’ve won the popular vote if it wasn’t for the Clinton campaign’s dirty tricks. They contacted millions of dead Democrats via séances, bussed their spirits from polling place to polling place and hired space aliens to abduct Republicans and reprogram their brains so they’d not cast their ballot for Trump but instead write-in Bobby Flay.
Rita Fleckman
Author, Get Rid of Obamacare, Keep the Affordable Care Act
Bartlesville, OK
Editor,
Regarding “Trump Marches to His Own Drummer—Seemingly Backward” (front page, February 14), to hear this totally misinformed journalist tell it, no other U.S. president has ever banned Muslims from entering the country, insulted an Australian prime minister or placed a white nationalist on the National Security Council. As for Trump’s threat to send American troops into Mexico to get rid of the bad hombres, okay, that was a little loco. Even though those bad hombres have got to go! But cut the man some slack.
Have you never required a learning curve after starting a new job? I have. When I was hired as chief executive officer of the startup Crappify, a cutting-edge bowel movement app, it took me several months—and $14 billion—to find my groove. It took me several more months to find the $14 billion. Bottom line: To err is human, to forgive divine. Bad hombres not included.
Guy Twomey
Former CEO, Crappify; CEO, Bad Hombrefy, an app that tracks down bad hombres.
Ames, IA
Fred Raker is a Westwood Park resident. See more of his comic bits at fredraker.com.
